Be still.

Sitting on my hands tonight. Sitting. Not sure where I fit. The people around me are young and laughing and flirting with one another. They can eat pizza and drink beer tonight after class and tomorrow they can make it to their 8:00 AM class. I am alone among them. I feel old , and large and tired. I want to go home where i am comfortable. I am mom. I am wife. Where I am safe. Be still. I question the decisions I made today at work. I question the decisions I make with myself. I wonder if i am accepting myself or letting myself go. I smile at the cashier when I buy my tea. I relate to her. I understand her. We are one. Now I am in class.
I come to class. I am the first one here because i enjoy the quiet. I enjoy the time to just be. I question if I will pass this class. Deduction and Hypothesis. Be still.
A youngish man, meh perhaps 24 , comes in and joins me. He asks me what I think of the class. He tells me he is struggling. He wonders if anyone else is and he fears he will fail. We share. We are are two. I am thankful. I am still.

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