I’ve been told multiple times I should write. “You should write a book.” &
“You should blog.” I nod & smile and think , ” you people are crazy, no one wants to read the ramblings of some 40 year old whack job in the middle of a midlife crisis. But then it occurred to me , “that’s exactly what people want to read.” It makes us feel better about ourselves or at least not alone when we know that someone else thinks like we do, acts like we do and feels like we do. We get to a sigh relief that we are not alone on the crazy train today – there’s always Stacey up there driving it.
So, here you are reading my attempt at another blog. Who knows . Maybe it will last this time – maybe not. All I know is I’m currently searching for a way to bring money in and feel fulfilled at the same time. Being a probation officer, truth be told , filled up my ego once upon a time. It said for me, ” if I’m a probation officer, that must mean i have it together.” HA !
HA ! And HA !
First of all that fooled no one & as you all know, that only lasted so long. I recently realized, on my trip to Maui, I couldn’t live so un-authentically. I have a longing inside me to be free. I’m sure James is hoping this longing doesn’t land us at the homeless shelter but I keep following my “ing” , as Gabriel Bernstein calls it, my inner guide. Sometimes I think my “ing” is nuts and doesn’t know what is going on, but most times , it brings me the most peace and clarity I’ve ever experienced. My “ing”
is where me and God come together as one, like my intuition, my soul. When I take the time to get quiet & listen… My answers eventually come.
And when they aren’t there yet, i at the very least find peace.
This latest adventure has been just that, adventurous. Has it all been AMAZING ? Nope, not at all. There been moments terrifying, moments sad and moments very lonely. There’s also been moments I’ve been so proud of myself for being so brave , for taking chances and believing in myself and it’s taught me to be my own best friend. That in the end , I’m never really alone. Even in the most terrifying spaces, I can go inward and hang out with my “ing”.
Til next time my loveies ~ thanks for reading ✌️